Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t friends?

Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t friends?

“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and some other phrases and words are among a small number of terms that foreigners just in Korea learn and one of them is generally the phrase chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this word in their sentences that are english hesitation and employ it seemingly without understanding what it really means. This can be probably certainly one of my minimum favorite words in Korean and I’ll explain why.

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Some years back, I became using Korean classes four times per week for four hours every day. I happened to be devouring the maximum amount of as I could associated with language because I became dating a Korean man, the majority of my buddies were Korean and undoubtedly I happened to be located in Korea and I also wished to make life just a little easier. Before you take the classes, I happened to be hesitant and weary of the thing I regarded as forced respect inside the guidelines of this language, elements of the language that force me to show a respect that we may n’t have for some body. Simply because individuals are older doesn’t mean they always deserve respect and also at that point I’d held it’s place in sufficient situations to learn that a number of, usually, men simply assumed that i ought to be respectful of those despite the fact that they disrespected me personally in various means. Through the classes, I learned how exactly to show my disapproval whenever being disrespected without being downright rude and I also learned just how to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the primary classes we learned, however, had been that We have nearly no “friends” in Korea. (From here on out “friend” in parenthesis is the Korean kind of friend while a friend that is freestanding function as English version.)

My better half, boyfriend at that time, and I also made a decision to have a meet up at the house and invited our close friends that are korean. There were about 10 of us round the dining table and I also was the only foreigner in the area. Only at that point, I’d known my boyfriend and all sorts of of their buddies for an excellent four to five years plus in my indigenous tongue, I would call them my buddies. Following the food had been finished additionally the plates picked up, I was thinking a casino game could be fun. Using what I’d learned from class on the best way to phone some body by title, I stated, “So-yung-a, would you like to play a game title?” making use of the reduced kind of the language. I experienced been gaining self-confidence with the language and deploying it whenever i really could. There clearly was a gasp that is audible after a couple of seconds of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two of the more aggressively conservative people in the team explained i really couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.

Friend 1: So-yung is avove the age of you might be.

Friend 2: You can’t state “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than she actually is.

Me personally: We’re friends though.

Buddy 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.

Me: just What would you suggest? I’ve known her for decades. We have her contact number within my phone. She is seen by me a great deal. We have been buddies and my guide says this is certainly an ending that is appropriate a friend.

Friend 2: No, you can’t be friends because this woman is more than you might be.

Me: I don’t determine what you’re saying.

Buddy 1: you are able to only be buddies with somebody that’s the exact same age as yourself.

Me: Well, that doesn’t make any feeling. You may be all my buddies and you are clearly all avove the age of i will be.

Friend 1: We aren’t your pals.

After because I was just told I had no friends and also because the language they were using to express their viewpoint was very aggressive and I don’t handle aggressive situations very well that I went to my room for a little cry mostly. Originating from a training viewpoint, aggressively attacking a student for making use of a term or a phrase inappropriately hardly ever helps make the pupil respond in a way that is positive. Often, the pupil will end up more timid to make use of the language or attempt to use terms as time goes on unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. In addition reminded my “friends” later on that We don’t attack them if they misuse a word, if it is acutely rude, I remind myself so it’s not their very first language and I you will need to assist them to understand just why it might be taken the wrong manner. My “friends” however, are not therefore patient with my language acquisition. Though I experienced excitingly go through my lesson books and went through conversations within my course, I experienced taken several things and terms when you look at the book for provided maybe not realizing they didn’t suggest exactly what it showed up they designed. Two associated with the more tolerant people in our group came in to sooth me personally and explain in nicer terms just what everyone else had gotten so upset about.

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